I am standing on the top of the mountain, and the view is terrific! What a different perspective it gives you to be able to turn around, and cast your gaze 360 degrees. You can see the entire landscape. The details fade as I gaze into the distance, but the lay of the land is clear, under the brilliant blue skies. It took me a long time to get up here, that went by in an instant.
The first half of your life is spent climbing this mountain. It begins in your childhood, continues through adolescence, and right on into your Householder Years. This is the time of life where you may have gone to college or trade school, built a career, raised a family, tended to your relatives and friends or all of the above.
For many women these Householder Years go by in a blur of juggling, pursuing, managing, cajoling, loving, striving, coping, nurturing and celebrating. So many of the rites of passage and ceremonies that we celebrate in our lives happen during these years, including new careers and degrees, jobs, marriages, the birth of children, the birthdays and anniversaries of friends and family, as well as personal achievements, and milestones.
We women are so busy in the householder years!
But one day soon, there comes the not so subtle realization that everything is changing! We look in the mirror and that face that was never quite pretty enough, that body that was never thin enough, curvy enough, fit enough, firm enough, in retrospect all look A Lot Better in those photos than you remember.
As women enter into Midlife we face a barrage of messages, images, tropes, and marketing that proclaim "The End is Near." We are told that we are no longer attractive, sexy, sexual, viable, hireable, promotable, lovable, useful or needed. We have been so heavily marketed to with diets, creams, potions, surgeries, lifts, tucks, shapers, toners and drugs that it has become an industry all its own.
Our culture whispers insidiously into our ears, "Whatever you do, don't embrace the coming change that you can't stop, don't continue to learn and grow! Reach backward to the Madison Avenue-created image of the young, sexy, desirable, you. The woman, who with her looks and appetites, lives to please men's idea of what a worthwhile woman is."
I CALL BULL SHIT ON ALL THAT !
One of the hardest things to learn to accept in life is change. Just when you get into the swing of one stage it changes. Whether it's kids growing, parents aging or management changing the rules at work, you know what I mean.
But like it or not change is always coming. So why not embrace it, learn and grow from it?! There is an art to what I call "learning to live in the middle while holding the tension from both ends."
Midlife is the top of the mountain! It's not the end of a life that includes joy, love, happiness, and fulfillment. It's the beginning of something big, new, challenging and rewarding. Like adolescence, but better, with a lifetime of wisdom!
From up here, on the top of the mountain, you can see clearly where you have been, where you are and where you might choose to go. You can take a moment to breathe and consider what you want to leave behind and what you want to take with you on your journey. Perspective like this can be powerful and life-changing, if you embrace it.
Women's midlife brings with it menopause. Society's previous attitudes and hushed tones of dismay, disgust or disapproval, regarding the mention or discussion of " the change" are quickly fading into the past. If you are lucky enough to live long enough, you are going to go through it. Some women fear it, some ignore it, some have an easy time and sail right through, and some suffer from start to finish. Each woman goes through it in her own unique way. It is part of the package. It brings with it, it's own rewards. I promise.
The good news is, that women's midlife and menopause transitions are built-in rites of passage for both our bodies and our psyches. These changes prepare us for Regency. Regency is women's new, powerful stage of life! In midlife, when often, the nest empties and generations pass —biology and psyche, having spent so many years tending other gardens— women finally get to turn their focus back on themselves and find they are ready to turn their own soil and tend their own garden.
In midlife, many women feel the overwhelming desire to recreate themselves and their lives. This is the next chapter of becoming your most authentic self, gathering your knowledge and experience, and consciously choosing to write your next chapters.
The women in the Boomers and Gen X generations are the first women to live fully into Regency, which spans the ages of late 40's to early 70's! And now, women even live on into old age in their 90's or longer.
The psychological and physical transitions of Midlife and menopause are designed to refocus a women's energy on herself, her passion, goals, and desires. “Regent” women are leaders in business, politics, the arts, environment, medicine, and education to name only a few categories. In the U.S., Boomer and Gen X women are now living longer than any women have lived in history. This longer lifespan, with all of its possibilities, has inspired a personal renaissance for many women, as they create new lives, and careers, rediscovering their passions in midlife. Are you between 45-70? Are you feeling the pull of change?
Please do not fear Midlife and Menopause! I am not saying that change isn't hard, or that there are no tough times in this transition, but there is a life stage ahead of you full of promise and potential. You can create a new life, tap into a new level of personal power and wisdom, and you can create a new path that is filled with as much promise as you will allow.
I'm always here to help!
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Mythology is all around us!
(Adolescence- Mythic Term - Maiden-10-18)
(Householder- Mythic Term - Mother-18-late 40's) This term applies to you whether you mothered a career, your friends and family or children, or any combination of them all! It is not strictly a birth term.
(Regency or Regent _ My new Mythic term- ages 45-70)
(Crone- Mythic term Wise old Woman 70 +)
Women's New four-stage LIfe Cycle Maiden, Mother, Regent, Crone © A. M. Slominski 2016